NEW PARENTS: IS YOUR SEX LIFE BABY PROOF?
By: Simone Bienne
Having a baby can be one of the most magical and rewarding experiences for a couple. But it can also take a toll on your sex life. Studies show that one in three couples who come for sex and relationship therapy do so within the first year of having a baby. So if you’re new parents try my 5-step plan to baby-proof your relationship and sex life.
1. Be Goal Realistic
Together, managing your expectations of having a baby will help you to avoid niggling arguments. If you’re a perfectionist, learn to let go. It will be one of the best gifts you can give yourself. A new arrival means life will be even more chaotic. But that’s ok… if you’re prepared for it. Repeat out loud: a messy home isn’t worth getting stressed over, or worse, nagging your partner about.
2. Be Lovers Again
So many couples can end up as Doting Dad/Miserable Husband and Loving Mum/Unhappy Wife. Why? A mother’s relationship with her baby can often mean she’s all affectioned-out by the time it comes to her man’s needs – and he ends up feeling left out and jealous. Ensure to carve out time for just you two. Make a ‘dinner date’ to re-create the intimacy you had before the baby arrived. Show your appreciation and reaffirm how important he is to you. Maybe book a sitter for a couple of hours and, instead of going out, head to the bedroom.
3. Be On The Same Team
We all know bringing up a baby temporarily drains your sleep, time and financial resources. Often you can feel undervalued, which can lead to arguments about who has it the hardest. Don’t let resentment spiral out of control: it’s the biggest libido blocker ever. If you feel you’re struggling, work out ways in which you can practically support each other. If you stay on the same team, intimacy in and out of the bedroom will have a chance to grow in your new roles as parents.
For steps 4 & 5, continue on to Simone's official blog by clicking here